It was the summer
of 2004
I met him
Thru Cruiseline
He looked like
David Beckham
And he knew it
I was in my early 20s
He was pushing 30s
For a brief moment
I thought I have found
What I've been looking for
A gemstone
I could show my family
Look! I told you my journey
Would be fruitful!
Finally, I thought,
I could show them
That someone beautiful
Cared for me
But we were too different
I could never really
Get stiff enough to fuck him
He did most of the topping
He also did most of the paying
Once, as we walked past
A clothing store on Church St
I commented that I like
The sleeveless powder blue shirt
On the mannequin
Days later, he handed me a bag
The shirt neatly folded inside
He took note
But I was young
And restless
On the nights we weren't together
I'd go to St. Marc's to play
It was the dead of summer
And Taste of the Danforth rolled in
What are you doing this weekend?
He asked
My friends and are I going
To Greektown
Why didn't you asked me
To come along?
Oh, are you free?
No thanks
I don't want to be your
Afterthought
I guess he felt it
My inexperience
Carelessness
A month after we first met
He said he wanted to break it off
Shortly after, a hookup
Offered me a hit
From a glass pipe
Instantly, I thought I have found
What I've been looking for:
Beautiful crystal
So I took to it
Like a fish
Being thrown back
Into his pond
One day,
I got a text from Beckham
Late at night
Wanna?
Like a fish
Being thrown back
Into his pond
I went over
He was drunk
I was high
We didn't have sex first
We just lay there in bed
In the dark,
He cradled my face
In his hands
And said
I love you
For the rest of the night
I laid in bed
Next to him
Floating
Maybe tina kept
Sleep from me
Or maybe I was genuinely euphoric
But I waited for him to wake up
No sexual partner
Has ever said that to me
When morning came
He turned me over
And slid in from behind
After finishing
Thanks for coming over,
He said
I searched his face
For any hint
Of last night
Nothing
That's ok, Joey
You've got tina
Waiting for you
At your apartment
That was 20 years ago
I seem him sometimes
On Church St
With his life partner
A very attractive guy:
Compact-built
Brown skin
Small waist
My height
I can't help
But imagine
Him bent over
As I plow him
Or on his back
Legs up
Hold lubed
And ready
But fantasies
Are usually borne
Out of
Realities
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