shake it to the max

 

insta: @theorlandolucas

Manny's reflection on The Vixen

Background: Manny posted the below essay in social media on May 10, 2018. It was right before The Vixen was to be eliminated from RPDR's revolutionary 10th season. It was revolutionary because of its very diverse cast of queens. I've been watching the show since its inception and I got Manny to watch it with me when he and I first started dating. Sad to say, we no longer watch the show, only because of time limitations. We're just too busy now.

Contrary to Manny's opinion of Eureka, I actually never warmed up to her. In that season, I think The Vixen was completely correct in her assessment of Eureka's behaviour (e.g. weaponizing white innocence) to gaslight and terrorize The Vixen.

I can't find the article now, but I believe it was Kevin O'Keefe who wrote about several queens who defined the VH1 era of Drag Race. One of them was The Vixen, of whom O'Keefe wrote - and I'm paraphrasing - "I don't think that the Melanin Dynasty of Jaida, Monet, Symone, and Yvie, would've been possible if it weren't for The Vixen's season 10 intervention."

Humble brag, but I think Manny is a beautiful writer. Not one word seems out of place.

***

Before The Vixen sashays away tonight, we just want to share that this morning, we were reading a recently published interview, “Shea Couleé Releases ‘Crème Brûlée,’ Talks Azealia Banks and The Vixen,” done by the same writer of the article, “The Black Queens of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 10 Are Revolutionary.” Couleé said she loves the representation of black queens this season. She also said she thinks it’s important to remember “that racism isn't something that is always active. It can be very passive and it's stitched into the fabric of society. Vixen is exposing those threads, not as some fine tailor methodically removing each top stitch, but she's tearing at the seams like a punk anarchist with wild abandon.” Overstated, perhaps—since they are fellow Chicago queens, and sounds like they have known each other for years. Come to think of it, it’s true—except for a couple of vague references, The Vixen has brought none of her brand of identity politics to her unimpressive RPDR performances. And it’s also true that nothing she’s done so far in S10 is novel, (cf. Shangela, and Kim Chi’s fat, femme, and Asian—we love them both). The bar’s set very high this season; queens need even more polish, pop culture savvy, and of course, more (Monet’s anti) jump-splits, at a moment’s notice. We agree with the general consensus here—The Vixen is none of that. Why do we respect the general consensus? Because fans are powerful—even though RuPaul’s always makes the final decisions, she has made mistakes and she has apologized for them (e.g., the Peppermint controversy). And because there’s a whole exciting, dizzying world of fans like us, an entire public sphere of writers, YouTubers, Vloggers, other drag queens, tweeters, facebookers, my beloved fiancé and I have always found it productive, instructive, empowering for us to latch on, often parasitically, to whatever TV models of queerness that speak to us, because we ordinary queers, with our mundane intersectionalities, hunger for a representation that will not be contained by the model minority myth. Yes, we have ulterior motives that are simply our own—to heal our internal divisions. We were disappointed when Yuhua Hamasaki got justifiably eliminated, because we were hoping for interplay, maybe the briefest of an alliance, a strategic essentialism, between a vocal Asian American queen and the other Black queens, a conversation that might subvert the model minority myth that silences “clap backs” (e.g., Hamasaki’s) in order to shame black folks (“Why Ferguson Should Matter to Asian-Americans”). And it just so happens that this season, we found representation in The Vixen, inexorably, and because we found representation in the EXCHANGE between her and Eureka, and because their arguments have polarized us fans, reflecting perhaps the current North American political landscape (we are Canadians), we love the both of them—their bodies, their make-up, their stubbornness and fluidity, their realness—and we hope that like Phi Phi O’Hara and Sharon Needles, The Vixen and Eureka will accept each other. But wait, Eureka has already accepted The Vixen for who she is, with the grace and authenticity that we have now come to admire, thanks to the vocal Eureka supporters in this group. At any rate, The Vixen will be eliminated tonight. And yes, she should have been eliminated a long time ago; but we want and do not want her to win.

blindfolded cumdump

This guy was in town from the US last month.  We met in Sniffies, where he was collecting loads at his hotel.  He had a great as and smooth hole.  This goes without being said, but, posting with consent.  Same goes for all my other videos with guys.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was last weekend here in Canada.  We had a family dinner at my brother's condo in Scarborough on the Sunday.  While it was nice to hang out with family, I felt a bit sad because my sister wasn't there.  I did wished her happy Mother's Day first thing in the morning, and extended the invite to her.  But she declined.  She already had plans with her three kids.  My brother also  sent her greetings for the occasion.

But, we still made the most of the gathering.  I made baked spaghetti, vegan kare-kare (with shrimp paste as condiment), and banana bread.  Kare-kare is a type of Filipino stew with a rich and thick peanut sauce usually made with oxtail and beef.  I've never actually made kare-kare with meat, and have only used Astig Vegan's recipe, with a few alterations.  For example, I don't use ground rice and achuete, and I usually put the eggplants later in the cooking process.  Her idea to use black bean sauce as a condiment, to replace bagoong or aramang (fermented fish and shrimp, respectively) is a stroke of genius, I think.  I love cooking this version of kare-kare for Manny, who's mostly vegetarian.

fitness inspiration

 @jordanyeohfitness

@henryjimenz

@andrewchristianintl.  I can't find this guy's socials, but he's soooo hot.  I want to work so I can get my chest to look like his.  Possible?  I know he's got younger genes...but, maybe?

Ok, so I'm fully aware that these guys are more than 20 years my junior, and yes, I might be a lil delulu.  But I've got to aim at something lol.

Martin

I wrote about my ex, Martin, in this blog post.  A day after I attended the workshop at the 519, I was scrolling through my fb memories feed when I ran into a repost that I made 18 years ago which had a comment from Martin.  Here's the post:

A day after I paid tribute to him, he serendipitously shows up in my feed on a self-reflective repost I made about being Filipino almost twenty years ago.  Curious, I clicked on his name to go to his profile.  For the first time since we went our separate ways, I saw pictures of him.  Here's some of them:

What warmed my heart even more was that he also posted some of his poetry.  Here's one he posted on Mar 6, 2009:

tonight i can write!!!

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, 'The night is shattered,
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved him, and sometimes he loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held him in my arms.
I kissed him again and again under the endless sky.
he loved me, and sometimes I loved him too.
How could one not have loved his great still eyes?
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have him. To feel that I have lost
him.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without
him
And the verse falls to the snow like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep him.
That night is shattered and he is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the
distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost him
My sight searches for him as though to go to him.
My heart looks for him, and he is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love him, that is certain, but how I loved him.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch his hearing.
Another's. he will be another's. Like my kisses before.
His voice. His bright body. His infinite eyes,
I no longer love him, that is certain, but maybe I love him.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held himr in my
arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.
Though this be the last pain that he makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for him
martin z

Personally, I don't think the poem is about me, for sure.  I remember him feeling heartbroken about a past relationship he had had before he and I met, and it affected him a lot.  I'm just so happy that I re(dis)covered him again.  Rest in peace, my friend.  Thank you.

my nudes

Manny and I got an Airbnb in town  for the long weekend for a bit of a staycation to get away from the renovations that's currently underway at the house.  The Airbnb is very beautiful.  Very porn content-ready, haha.  I took some nudes this morning while Manny was at the gym.  It's our day off so we'll definitely have some play time later.  I took a video of me briefly stroking while I watch Igor Lucios fuck Felippe Masson.  A little warm up for later with Manny.  I've probably watched and jerked off to this Igor/Felippe scene hundreds of times now.  It's sooo sexy.

A morning convo with Manny earlier:

Manny: Can I pls get a second cup of coffee?

Me: Sure, but I better get some pussy later.

We both laughed at the bluntness of my language.

Anirudh Pisharody appreciation post

perfection

Yes, this is for you

 

From @gildedgxld on TikTok

I went for Martin, I found Jim (from June Callwood's Jim: A Life with AIDS) through Brian

 

I saw the above flyer in Mar of 2025 pop up in my social media feed.  It instantly caught my attention because I've been thinking of my ex, Martin Zabaleta, whose name is on the memorial.  He passed away in 2013.  I wanted to pay tribute to him because I still think of him now and again.

When I went to the workshop at the 519, I met some folks from the community who similarly also wanted to pay tribute to their loved one who passed away because of AIDS.  I was brought to a small room by one of the facilitators.  There was a table with two chairs and a microphone attached to a laptop.  The facilitator and I chatted for a bit, where he gave me a bit more of what I was expected to do and some background about the project.  After a few moments, he asked me to get ready to speak to the microphone.  What follows is what I recorded:

"Martin and I met at a party of a mutual friend sometime in 2006.  We bonded over our shared history of drug misuse and recovery journey.  We dated briefly, with our relationship lasting only a couple of months.  But during those times, he took me to late night dance sessions in the club scene, treated me to a NYE dinner at the CN Tower, and introduced me to a couple of queer elders in the community whom I've come to respect.  I am most grateful to him for taking me to an MCC Toronto church service, paving the way for me to finally reconcile my queerness with my Christian beliefs, thereby allowing me a step closer to breaking my cycle of drug addiction.  What I remember most about him was his ability to play along with a joke in an instant.  He didn't take life too seriously.  He was very proud of his Argentinian background, and was very proud of the Argentinian men's national soccer team.  He passed away in 2013 just as I was starting my career as an accountant."

In my conversations with the facilitator after my recording, I told him that one of the reasons why I wanted to record a tribute to Martin was because things have been going very well for me lately, and that, when things are good, I have a tendency to reflect and ask who helped me get there.  Martin, I told the facilitator, made, and continue to make, an impact on my life.  I can provide peace for my elderly parents because of Martin.  Manny and I can send remittances to our family members back in the Philippines because of the contributions of Martin in my life.

After recording, I went back to the group of other people who came for the screening of a documentary about a community leader who passed away from AIDS in Toronto.  The group was very diverse, and our experiences with HIV connected all of us.  One of the people at the workshop was a man named Brian who spoke of his experiences burying many of his friends in the 80s and 90s.  He spoke of lovingly visiting their graves at the cemetery to tend to the tulips that he plants every year.  I took an interest in him because I thought that he would know Jim from June Callwood's Jim: A Life with AIDS.  I wrote about Jim here.

After the screening ended, I made a beeline towards Brian.  I asked him if he knew a man named Jim, showing him a picture of June's book cover.

"Yes!  I knew Jim St. James!" he said.  I was so excited.  I asked him if I could ask him out for coffee sometime so I can ask about Jim.

"Of course!" he said.  He gave me his phone number and email.

In a future blog, I'll write about my dinner meet-up with Brian.  All I can say for now is that Brian turned out to be such a lovely and kind person, full of experience, many of which are reflected through poetry that he publishes online.

New selfie

 

Insta post from @mikeybustos

"It used to bother me that I was into so many different things. Algorithms train us to be specialists, rewarding those who niche down to a single content type, a single category or format.

But I'm not a single content kinda guy, and I don't think all people are meant to be specialists. If Leonardo Davinci were alive today, he would be posting art, human anatomy, and animals, but should he have to create 3 separate accounts for each content type? Why should Alexander Macqueen have created a fashion account and a scuba/marine biology account when each passion influenced/informed the other in some way? Why train us to all be specialists when we should give room for multipotentialites to thrive on social media, as well?

If I have a kid one day and decide to post cherished moments, why should I have to create a separate account 'family life', when the kid will surely inform my other content? Instead, why not create 'categories' per account that people could follow as they choose?

I don't want to just do comedy, nor just do ants, nor just music, nor fitness, and I'll probably discover more things to delve into and master over time. I'm bi, a Filipino-Canadian, I like to travel, and I farm, and every passion/aspect influences the other. My hope is that when AI takes over designing algorithms, it will support and foster the growth of polymaths or just allow people to be people, diverse and unique."

Hinga by Minaw

 

This is such a vibe!  I'm totally digging the queer-centered storyline of the music video.

Hinga

by Minaw

Mahigpit ang pagkakayakap

Tinapos ang langit nang magkaharap

Dahan-dahang bumibitaw

Nawawala na ang araw

Tumalikod, humakbang palayo

Dala-dala ang mga emosyong nakatago

Iniisip na abutin ko and iyong mga kamay

Ngunit 'di mapipigilan ang paghihiwalay

Gusto ko pang maranasan ang iyong mga halik

Ang puso ko, sa 'yo pa rin ito nasasabik

Dasal sa hanging na hindi na lang natapos 'to

Ang puso mo, and puso ko, ikaw at ako

Nagtataka, palaging tulala

Nagmumukmok, kilos nag-iiba

Sinisisi ang sarili, maya't maya sa isang tabi

'Di mapakali, iniisip ka palagi

Tumalikod, humakbang palayo

Dala-dala ang mga emosyong nakatago

Iniisip na abutin ko and iyong mga kamay

Ngunit 'di mapipigilan ang paghihiwalay

Gusto ko pang maranasan ang iyong mga halik

Ang puso ko, sa 'yo pa rin ito nasasabik

Dasal sa hanging na hindi na lang natapos 'to

Ang puso mo, and puso ko, ikaw at ako

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa

Gusto ko pang maranasan ang iyong mga halik

Ang puso ko, sa 'yo pa rin ito nasasabik

Dasal sa hanging na hindi na lang natapos 'to

Ang puso mo, and puso ko, ikaw at ako

Gusto ko pang maranasan ang iyong mga halik

Ang puso ko, sa 'yo pa rin ito nasasabik

Dasal sa hanging na hindi na lang natapos 'to

Ang puso mo, and puso ko, ikaw at ako, whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa, whoa, ooh-whoa

Ooh-whoa

Sniffies hottie

I met this nice bottom guy on sniffies about a month ago.  I went over to his place after he took several loads.  You can almost see in the last video his hole dripping with cum.

I have to say, sniffies has changed the game for me.  I've only been on it since last fall and I've met sooo many hotties off there.